So few of us know from an early stage what our soul or life purpose is. There are some that follow the family footsteps of being a medic, taking over a family business or following the path of singing, or acting as ‘it is in the genes’. For me the option of taking over the family business was never something that was open to me, for the simple reason of being a girl. My father had a successful road construction business which he deemed unsuitable for either myself or my sister, so it went to my brother. I have always found the principle something of a challenge. I am intelligent and could have studied engineering but I was always told it was not a suitable option for a female and yet one of my female friends studied civil engineering and there are women in this field. My family always thought I would go into the world of art and design but I decided otherwise. I loved the world of creativity and design but I wanted to be seen in my own right and not do what was expected of me. I found studying easy and followed a science course at university. It felt strange when I went to Chelsea College and mixed with art students from across the road at Chelsea Art College.
I went on to teach Biology and then studied nutrition and worked internationally. Now I’m planning to embark on something more akin to what my heart tells me is my true calling.
you tell me to quiet down cause
my opinions make me less beautiful
but i was not made with a fire in my belling
so i could be put out
i was not made with a lightness on my tongue
so i could be easy to swallow
i was made heavy
half blade and half silk
difficult to forget and not easy
for the mind to follow
It has taken me a long time to admit to myself what is central to my being. I have kept myself small and allowed the men in my life to either put me on a pedestal that I cannot live up to, or alternatively I strive to make myself appear different to what I truly am. So instead what I have realised is I need to get out from under the bushel. That for me it is imperative that I dance, sing, paint, take pictures and write. Without these creative outlets in my life I am less of myself, less happy and not living my life to the full and I then make the ones in my life suffer.
I have come to realise that what is the most important aspect of my life is the freedom to be the person I am truly meant to be and I love it, that those around me accept me and enable me to express my creativity, this is what makes me truly happy. I am fortunate to have a family that love and care for me in the same way I love them. I also hope that I will always have the love and trust of everyone in my life. To feel the joy of being with old friends and new ones too.
i work in
a creative vortex
form beauty from
love me as